Booze and Cigarettes
by Harpokrates
Summary: Oneshot. In which a somewhat unusual occurrence happens.


Leonardo hated it when Raphael came home drunk.

Hated it. Hated it. _Hated_ it.

In addition to the fact that, as teenagers, alcohol was a rather illegal substance, drinking was also against the Rules.

The Rules were the unspoken law, enforced by a stern glare and a disappointed gaze from Master Splinter. Those who broke the Rules were sure to get an extra ten kata during training.

Leonardo was also quite sure that his brother did it on purpose, although he wasn't sure exactly how Raphael always managed to come stumbling in on days that had already been Not Good for Leo. He had a rather unstable theory involving a rubber ducky and a motorcycle, but couldn't be certain.

Snapping out the of the segway of his thoughts, he started walking, Sternly and in A Rather Intimidating Manner, mind you, toward his brother, who, in his state of intoxication, was busily threatening the nearest wall.

"Well, Raph," Leonardo's voice rang out, sounding odd in the otherwise, barring his brother's mumbled threats, silent lair. "had a fun night out?

The threat in his voice was hidden as well as a bright pink elephant in the middle of a tundra.

When his brother didn't answer, he continued.

"Do you have any idea, what could have happened? We could have been exposed! Did you honestly think that what you were doing was safe?"

Again, no answer, just a series of mumbles that could have been, 'Yeah, you run, you Purple Dragon scum', as well as, 'Darling, that dress makes you look _fabulous_'. Leonardo dearly hoped it was the former, if only for his sanity's sake.

"And even if it wasn't dangerous for us to be spotted, you're only fifteen. _Fifteen_, Raphael. Do you have any idea how illegal that is?"

Raphael stopped muttering and directed a glare at him that, if glares could be used a weapons, Raphael's would have already decimated the planet Earth and a good portion of both Mars and Venus.

"And furthermore," Leo continued. "it is completely against the Ru-mmmfffghh"

Now the last bit of Leonardo's statement was not entirely voluntary, as civilized beings are not inclined to randomly spout such phrases as Mmmfffghh, given that words such as those do not readily appear in most Romance, Germanic, Slavic, African, Oriental, and other languages that would make this list too long and inconvenient.

No, the Mmmfffghh was caused by Leonardo being rudely interrupted in the middle of his well thought-out and logically backed rant.

By, oddly enough, a kiss.

Mind, it wasn't a kiss in the traditional sense of the word, as it is agreed that most kisses do require lips and as neither kissed nor kisser possessed lips, it could not technically be considered a kiss.

However, as we all know, technicalities are things for mathematics teachers and scientists who went to college for an obscene amount of years and have walls covered in .

So while the 'kiss' could indeed be called as such, it would be much more accurate to describe it as a rather primitive display of affection by Raphael smashing his beak to Leonardo's, possibly in order to shut him up and perhaps as an aggressive display of dominance, fuelled by testosterone and alcohol.

Now, from Leonardo's point of view, he had been giving a perfectly justified speech about responsibility and it's like when, from nowhere, his Raphael had pressed his beak to Leo's in the rough and violent manner that he had come to define his brother by.

In addition to that, Leonardo's mouth had been open, so along with having his speech interrupted and his personal space quite thoroughly invaded, he had gotten a mouth full of Raphael Breath, which, although from a distance it was simply unpleasant, up close it could be rightly used as a biological weapon.

To add insult to injury, Raphael tasted like booze and cigarettes, both being against the Rules. Mind, Leonardo knew about the alcohol, it being rather obvious, the cigarettes came as a slight surprise.

Simply put, the kiss was one of the most unpleasant of his life.

But that didn't mean Leo didn't like it.

FIN

A/N: None really, 'cept I really should be working on The Broken Dawn. And school is almost back in.

Goodbye, Sweet Freedom!


End file.
